V1 DM If you had a medical emergency AM I’d give you CPR F#m Not just because I’m legally obligated to GM But because you’re a shining star bm I wouldn’t walk 500 miles AM I would definitely drive F#m GM Just to see your lovely face the second I arrive C DM AM I wanna be your seatbelt, baby EM GM Wrapped around you tightly DM AM I wanna be your seatbelt, baby EM GM Keepin’ you safe, daily and nightly V2 The sight of you Is cuter than 1000 pandas sneezing I’d run for hours just to see you Even if I started wheezing. And not even the universe, In all its absurdity Could try to stop me From writing you this little ditty because… CHORUS V3 You’re smarter than Albert Camus And cuter than him, too Even Nietszche would believe in God After seeing you Your beauty outshines a star You make my heart go faster than a car Your eloquence and charm Could most definitely stop a war BRIDGE This is where I’d sing about How wonderful you are But there aren’t words wonderful Enough to describe you, so I’ll just sit here quietly for a couple seconds And think about how cool you are CHROUS x2 So click it or ticket!

Am CM GM DM V1 One way he took a walk Awound the world to find A rare endangered beaver’s Big Buck teeth V2 His gun was sharp His knives were cocked His ears were wide, his eyes were locked Deadliness was bleeding from His teeth CHORUS Masculinity, femininity, to infinity and beyond To the moon, the sky, a balloon to the stars He widdled the trees and he took them apart And now there are just dozens of his hearts Richard Island Card Dozens of his hearts Richard Island Card V3 He came unto a great big tree His axe was sharp, fell to his knees And now he lost the urge to hunt Big teeth CHORUS Masculinity, femininity, to infinity and beyond To the moon, the sky, a balloon to the stars He widdled the trees and he took them apart And now there are just dozens of his hearts Richard Island Card Dozens of his hearts Richard Island Card Bridge AM And Richard, the hunter The weight of his axe, b#m The thick heavy grain, The sweat down his back c#m His breathing was hard He set down his pack DM The heave and the ho EM Now he’s a lumberjack CHORUS Masculinity, femininity, to infinity and beyond To the moon, the sky, a balloon to the stars He widdled the trees and he took them apart And now there are just dozens of his hearts Richard Island Card Dozens of his hearts Richard Island Card

VERSE 1 em am bm One day, I looked in my refrigerator em am bm And said hey, there’s no food in here em am bm But wait, what’s this at the bottom? em am bm It was, a whole bunch of fruit VERSE 2 em There were cherries, cranberries, and old Am bm farmer Larry’s quality guarantee em With peaches, bananas, and Carlos Santana’s Am bm favorite kind of grape em Watermelon, a lemon, some lime and a rhyme, Am bm to top it all off em bm I wonder what I will do with all of this fruit, I Am bm think I will make… CHORUS em Some salad, CM Tasty salad, DM Hear my ballad bm About my salad, fruit salad VERSE 3 em am bm I eat it with a fork or a spoon em am bm It’s yummy, it fills me with food em am bm This fruit, I don’t know where it came from em am bm But oh well, it’s my lunch today CHORUS Salad, Fruit salad, Hear my ballad ‘bout some salad BRIDGE em7 Oh no, my roommate came home DM He sees my salad through the door am He asks me Riley, is that my fruit salad? DM I say yes, and he runs towards me CHORUS [x2] My salad Yes, my fruit salad But I wrote this ballad Bout my fruit salad, my salad Outro em My regret is flared CM As it falls on the floor DM Because we didn’t share bm Now there is no more em Fruit Salad

V1 (em am x4) In the hills of Scandinavia the elders oft told a story filled of wisdom both new and old it was the tale of Norman A “Frog of all trades” he worked as a doorman at the Hotel Everglades V2 Now Norman had a law degree, but since he was a frog, they felt his years of study were worthless as a log. So he wandered through the town Lookin’ for a job Poor Norman was alone And he still could not find God C (CM am em) Until eating corn on the cob Until eating corn on the cob V3 He walked into a diner took a seat inside a booth his waitress was a whiner She had a chipped tooth He asked her for fly pie She said we’re out of that He asked her for some fly fries She said we’re out of that C But we’ve got corn on the cob But we’ve got corn on the cob V4 When his corn arrived Poor Norman was a mess he thought that he had thrived in his Not-so-righteousness He flexed his froggy fingers He licked his froggy lips To taste the taste that lingers All the way down his hips Because he tasted corn on the cob He tasted corn on the cob B (am CM GM CM GM) He smiled and God called his name “Norman Furman the fourth Efsquire the Frog You are the light of the world You aren’t alone and I love you” Please enjoy corn on the cob Jesus corn on the cob

Am EM Way long ago on Rockaway Beach CM EM A sea turtle named Rocky befriended a leech Am EM The leech was named Hector and every which way CM EM Rocky and he were very low paid C Am dm CM em This is the tale of a sea turtle and a leech Am dm CM EM This is the saga of how hard it is to be a sea FM turtle and a leech V2 AM Rocky was a big, bold, plaid, old lumberjack CM And Hector wrote poetry DM It was hard for them to pay the fees dm Of living on Rockaway Beach V3 AM There were no trees for Rocky’s timber CM Hector had no arms for his poetry DM How hard it must be to see an armless leech, Dm EM Or a treeless beach Woah, woah, woah C Am dm CM em This is a tale of a sea turtle and a leech This is the saga of how hard it is to be a sea turtle and a leech Bridge (A C F G for most, then A B C D at end) They were visited by a magician With the help of his mother, a statistician They planted some trees for rocky to cut And made Hector some arms to write his poems And all for Hector and Rocky was swell Except Rocky forgot the permit to sell His trees and he got in a legal battle He suspected the statistician might have been tattlin’ Eventually he won his case decided to keep all of the trees in their place And let all God’s good children come and to be To gaze upon his magical trees Hector used his brand new arm To write a poem about the farm Of trees that Rocky grew and grew And Hector’s fame jumped and flew C Am dm CM em This is a tale of a sea turtle and a leech This is the saga of how hard it is to be a sea turtle and a leech … In our economy

V1 (DM bm F#M GM) The problem is the camp director’s really really mean He says he’s done and seen it all after the year fifteen Like campers he has counseled in a Russian submarine I bet all of those campers would agree V2 The camp director working here has ownership to show The problem’s his to solve it all I don’t think that he knows I heard him when he asked us all to quickly touch our nose He didn’t know I wrote a plan and this is how it goes C (DM AM FM EM) I’ll work at camp for fifteen years Ask for a plan that’s drenched in tears And when they ask “why you so mean?” I’ll smile and laugh, hand them a clean V3 I bet to solve this problem he could stop being so mean By letting children dive or eating all of the ice cream Could run across the camp unless we tripped and fell and died I guess that one makes sense so I will keep my converse tied [CHORUS] B (D7 am…FM EM) Con 1, I don’t want to do it Con 2, the other guy would let me Con 3, You can’t make me! You’re not my dad x2 I miss my dad…..(thoughtful pause) V4 Alright, I’ve done some thinking and I think you’re cool, I guess Your rules make some sense and I was being childish I’ll own it like a man and write a written plan for me I will not point my finger so accusatorily [CHORUS] Outro Written plan, Written plan, Written plan, Written plan, Written plan, Written plan, Written plan, Written plan, Written plan